HOW TO TELL IF YOU ARE DRIVING TOO FAST....
1. A student's leave letter:
"As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the class...."
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2. A candidate's application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist And an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post."
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3. I.T.I., Lahore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.
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4. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
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5. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
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6. An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."
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7. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.
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8. A covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
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9. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.
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10. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave".
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11. Letter writing:
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
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12. Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was
Performing his daughter's wedding:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave..."
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: Go with the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?
Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.
Source: http://www.everyjoke.com
A blond decides to do something she’s never done before - rent a dirty movie. She drives to the local Video Warehouse and makes here way to the adult section in the back. After looking around at titles, she selects a something that sounds very stimulating.
She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment there’s nothing but static on the screen. She calls the store to complain and says, “I just rented an adult movie from you and there’s nothing on the tape, but static.”
The clerk apologized about the defective video and asked, “Which title did you rent?” The blond replied, “It’s called ‘Head Cleaner.’”
What'd You Think?
