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Posted by
Saurabh Tank
at
3:03 AM
Funniest one line jokes.
Judge:
Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I
couldn't lift the table."
couldn't lift the table."
"What did one ghost say to
another?"
another?"
"Do you believe in people?"
My friend has a fine watch
dog.
dog.
At any suspicious noise he
wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.
wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.
They call our
language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
"Room Service?
Can you send up a towel?"
Can you send up a towel?"
"Please wait
someone else is using it."
When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he
made me pay in advance.
made me pay in advance.
"Where did
you get those big eyes?"
you get those big eyes?"
"They came
with the face."
with the face."
I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife
had already seen Niagara Falls.
But the psychiatrist really helped me
a lot. I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid. Now I
answer it whether it rings or not.
It was love at first sight. Then I
took a second look !!
"Look, guide,
here are some lion tracks."
"Good. You
see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."
"Do you think I"ll lose my
looks as I get older?"
looks as I get older?"
"Yes if you're lucky."
A modern artist is one who throws
paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.
paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.
"Has there
been any insanity in your family?"
been any insanity in your family?"
"Yes,
doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."
doctor. My husband thinks he's the boss."
I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the
handwriting for it.
handwriting for it.
"My wife doesn't know what she
wants."
"You're lucky. My wife
does."
We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her
and she doesn't speak to me.
and she doesn't speak to me.
"What do
use for washing dishes?"
use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I
tried many things but found my husband best."
tried many things but found my husband best."
"Why don't you give your husband a divorce?"
"What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make
him happy?"
him happy?"
"Young man, do
you think you can handle a variety of work?"
you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be
able to. I've had 12 different jobs in four months."
able to. I've had 12 different jobs in four months."
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